


attention

by fairyhwangs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Cuddling, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 10:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18280946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyhwangs/pseuds/fairyhwangs
Summary: Hyunjin is anxious about his solo performance and Chan does everything he can to help and comfort him. The world stopped until Hyunjin was okay.





	attention

**Author's Note:**

> i've been meaning to write this fic for over a month and i am so happy to finally have finished it. i hope you all like it because it was really fun to write. 
> 
> a special thanks to danadia ( [ her twitter ](https://twitter.com/yoongistungun) ) ([ her ao3 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxvenxtes) ) for reading this over and helping with my ideas and kelly ( [ her twitter ](https://twitter.com/taerunsmylife) ) ( [ her ao3 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taerunsmylife) ) for being my beta!!
> 
> also follow me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/jjunglooks) and if you have any questions or comments here's my [ curiouscat ](https://curiouscat.me/jjunglooks) !!
> 
> anyways hope you all enjoy uwu

“Chan, I’m so afraid.”

“Hyunjinnie, it’s going to be okay. I’ll help you,” he said, massaging Hyunjin’s thigh reassuringly. 

“I don’t even know where to start. This is my first solo stage, I have to prove myself, I have to do well,” Hyunjin replied, nervous.

“You absolutely will. I’ll make sure of it,” he replied. 

“Thank you!” Hyunjin said happily, turning to give Chan a hug. He felt Chan’s arms wrap around his waist, and even though he was anxious, Chan helped him feel like everything would be okay. 

“Do you want to get started now?” Chan asked, rubbing circles onto Hyunjin’s back. 

“Yeah!” He replied enthusiastically, letting go of Chan. “Well, I mean, if it’s okay with you,” Hyunjin rushed to say afterwards, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. 

“Of course. Come with me to my studio?” Chan asked, standing up. He turned around and offered a hand to Hyunjin. 

He took it gratefully, and Chan helped pull him up. Hyunjin turned his face away, hoping to hide the blush that was spreading over his cheeks. Even though he and Chan were practically inseparable at times, especially with Chan’s habit of always wanting to be hugging someone, holding his hand was more nerve-wracking. With any other member it would be fine, but it was  _ Chan _ and  _ Chan  _ is the boy that he’s had a crush on for two years and  _ Chan  _ is the one that could make his heart stop and turn his mind to mush. The way that Chan held onto Hyunjin’s hand so delicately yet firmly caused his stomach to do backflips.  

He was convinced that there was no way Chan would like him back. After all, he was the leader. He had to put the team first. No distractions. And it hurt, of course, knowing that he had to keep his feelings to himself, that he had to suppress them. But it was for the best. 

He’s spent so long trying to get rid of them, but it’s so hard when he sees Chan all of the time. Even if he spent two days trying to ignore him, Chan would be so sweet and come to him asking what was wrong. He wanted the feelings to fade, but Chan was making him fall even harder. 

Chan led Hyunjin through the interlocking hallways and large rooms and finally, they made it to his studio. 

He let go of Hyunjin’s hand to grab another chair, and Hyunjin pouted at the loss of warmth. Hopefully Chan didn’t notice. 

Once they sat down and got comfortable, Chan asked, “Was there any song that you were thinking of doing?”

“I’m not sure… Actually…” Hyunjin said, hesitating. 

“What is it?” 

“Maybe, an English song?” 

“Are you comfortable with that?” Chan questioned. 

This is one example of how much Chan really  _ cared.  _ It’s really the little things that made Hyunjin’s heart beat faster. Even though Hyunjin was the one that suggested he do an English song, Chan wanted to make sure it was something Hyunjin was comfortable doing. He was always looking out for him and it was so impossibly sweet. 

“I think so… If you’ll help me.”

“Of course. Is there any song you have in mind?”

“Something by Charlie Puth? I’ve been listening to a lot of his songs recently,” Hyunjin answered. 

“I can make a suggestion if you’d like?”

“Yes! Of course,” Hyunjin said excitedly.

“I think that Attention would fit your voice really well.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I think you could sing any song wonderfully but this one would just complement your voice so well. It would even more wonderful.”

_ He thinks my voice is wonderful. _ Why did Chan have to be so nice all the time? 

“Thank you,” Hyunjin responded shyly. “Let’s do it.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I don’t know if I can do this,” Hyunjin said, frustrated. They were in the studio, which is where both of them have basically been living since they began practicing. Don’t get him wrong, he loved spending all this time with Chan. It was just frustrating because he worked so hard and it didn’t feel like he was getting any better. 

“You can.”

“I feel like my pronunciation is so off, I wish I practiced English more before this. And on top of that I have to memorize everything so what if I’m on stage and I forget all of the lyrics?”

“Hyunjin, listen to me. You can do this,” Chan said in a reassuring tone, taking Hyunjin’s hands in his. He began to rub the inside of his wrists, trying to calm him down. 

Hyunjin’s face flushed pink. Chan had no idea what his small, thoughtful movements meant to Hyunjin. 

“Are you sure?” Hyunjin asked, eyes wide.

“Absolutely. I think that your pronunciation is good so far, and I will help you through the ones you have trouble with,” Chan said honestly, “and you were born to be a performer, you know this. You shine on stage, it’s the anxiety talking that’s convincing you that you’ll fail.”

“I- you’re right. Okay.”

“And remember, I’m right by your side.” 

Hyunjin wished that Chan knew how impactful his words really were. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I’m just going to go practice some more, I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Hyunjin said quickly, leaving the table. Chan knew something was wrong. This whole dinner, Hyunjin wasn’t being as outgoing and social as he usually is. Most of the time he’s constantly touching another member, usually whoever was sitting next to him, but the whole time he just kept to himself. And it was especially weird because he was sitting next to  _ Jisung  _ and he absolutely loved clinging to Jisung. 

“I’m going to go help Hyunjin,” Chan said quietly, excusing himself and running after him. 

Chan knocked on the door of the dance practice room, hoping Hyunjin would be able to hear it through the music blaring through his speaker. 

The music stopped and he heard footsteps nearing the door. 

“Chan?” Hyunjin said once he opened the door. 

“Hyunjinnie, are you okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Please, I know you better than that.”

Hyunjin sighed. “I guess.”

“Come with me,” Chan said, grabbing onto Hyunjin’s wrist. 

“Okay?” 

Chan led Hyunjin into their shared room and beckoned for him to climb into the bed and under the sheets.  Hyunjin was quickly joined by Chan who wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s waist, pulling his back flush against his stomach. 

“Are you comfortable?” Chan asked. 

Hyunjin was more than comfortable. 

“Yeah.” 

“Tell me about your worries and I can try to help them go away.”

Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut, just thinking about his performance made him want to throw up. “I feel sick. This is my time to prove what I can do, to prove myself, and I can’t prove anything if I mess it all up. I know I’ve practiced hard, but anything could happen on stage. I can’t stop thinking about messing up a line, messing up part of the choreo, but there’s something even worse. I do everything perfectly and the fans still aren’t satisfied. I can deal with anyone else being upset, but if Stay are upset over my performance, I don’t know what I would do. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Oh Hyunjinnie, I’m so sorry that you feel like this. It’s so awful and I wish I could take all the bad thoughts away. I can say that you’re going to do great and that it’ll be fine, but I don’t think you’ll believe it. You are phenomenal, Jinnie. The way you dance is exceptional and your singing is gorgeous. Even if you do make a small mistake, it’s okay, we all do. As long as you own it and do the rest of the performance well, it’ll be okay. There’s no way Stay would be upset over your performance, I think it’s beautiful and they’ll see that too.”

Hyunjin didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Chan saying all these sweet things about him? It’s bound to cause him to cry. 

“Thank you, Channie.” 

“Hyunjin? Are you crying?”

“I can’t help it. You’re just so…” 

“So… what?”

“Can you just hold me? Please?”

“That was the plan,” Chan laughed lightly. 

“Thank you for being there for me.”

“Always.” 

They fell asleep just like that, tangled together. Minho and Seungmin arrived to their room later that night, and gave knowing looks to each other after seeing how Hyunjin and Chan were pretty much inseparable.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The whole morning went by in a blur. Hyunjin barely had a moment to register that his performance was  _ today.  _ It was good because he didn’t have any time to stress about anything.

However, the second he stepped into the building, he felt everything at once. 

“Where’s the bathroom?” He asked a manager quickly, and was pointed to a hallway to his right. He tried to get there as quickly as possible, and eventually broke into a frantic run. 

He threw open the door and into one of the bathroom stalls, locking it. He collapsed against the wall of the stall, his back slowly sliding down against it until he hit the ground. 

He could barely breathe. He lifted up his hands and glanced at them, and saw how badly they were shaking, how badly his whole body was shaking. He grabbed his phone in his back pocket and unlocked it quickly, but when he tried to type in a text message, he could barely move his fingers. He dropped his phone on the ground, and tried so hard to get his fingers to move but it didn’t work. They were frozen. He tried again. He picked up his phone and decided a call would be easier. He tapped on the contact quickly and waited for it to ring. 

“Hyunjin?” 

“Chan, p-please, I c-can’t breathe.” 

“Jinnie, take deep breaths for me, okay? Where are you?”

“Th-the bathroom. It’s the clo-closest to the entrance.” 

“I’m coming now. Take another deep breath for me? In, okay, that’s good… Now out… You’re doing great, Jinnie.”   
  


  
  
  
  
  


The second Chan heard Hyunjin’s voice, his heart broke. He ran to find him, the whole time trying his best to keep Hyunjin breathing evenly over the phone. 

After what seemed like years, Chan reached the bathroom. He heard Hyunjin before he could see him, opening the stall as quickly as he could. 

Hyunjin looked up at him through watery eyes, his whole body visibly shaking. Chan sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s shoulders. Hyunjin immediately sank into Chan’s arms, his body exhausted. 

“It’s going to be okay, I’m here,” Chan said softly. 

“B-but what if it’s n-not?” 

“Baby, you’ve practiced so much for this. You’re ready. And if something happens, I’ll be here for you. I’ll always be here for you.” 

Hyunjin buried his face in Chan’s chest. 

“Promise me?”

“Of course. I promise.” 

Hearing Chan promise that he was always going to be there for Hyunjin to rely on suddenly made things not as scary anymore. He could do this performance, as long as he had Chan waiting for him at the end. 

They sat together in silence for about ten minutes until Chan finally broke the silence. 

“Hyunjinnie?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s thirty minutes until you perform. Can you get up?”

Hyunjin really didn’t want to leave the warmth of Chan’s arms but he knew he needed to. “Yes.” 

Chan stood up first, Hyunjin right behind him. Before they left the bathroom, Chan took Hyunjin’s hand and interlaced their fingers, giving his hand a tight squeeze. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Five minutes until the performance. Hyunjin was surprisingly alright, and it was all thanks to Chan. If he felt even a little bit stressed, he could look at where Chan was at the side of the stage and it would disappear. 

One of the producers beckoned him over, letting Hyunjin know that it was finally time. Everyone was about to see the result of his hard work and preparation. 

He took his place on center stage and looked at Chan one last time. His reassuring smile melted away the last of his worries and finally, the song began. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Chan had heard Hyunjin sing and perform this song so many times but seeing him on stage was something totally different. He looked so confident and beautiful, but why was it making Chan’s heart beat so fast? 

_ Oh. Oh my god.  _ There was only one reason Chan could think of as to why.  _ I like Hyunjin.  _

Even at this realization, Chan really wasn’t that surprised. Hyunjin was just so captivating. He would drop everything to help Hyunjin, and of course he would do the same for the other members, but it was different. The world stopped until Hyunjin was okay. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


It was over. Hyunjin did it. He didn’t mess up and just assuming from the reaction of the audience, Stay liked it. 

Chan was waiting for him on the side of the stage, a bright smile lighting up his face. “Jinnie, you did amazing.” 

Hyunjin smiled shyly. “Thank you.”

“No really, I was blown away. It was spectacular. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my heart stopped.” 

“I don’t know what to say other than thank you,” Hyunjin replied, blushing. 

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that you are outstanding.” 

Chan enveloped him in a tight hug. “I am so proud of you, Hyunjin, for getting through this even though it was hard.” 

“It was all thanks to you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hyunjin?” 

“Yeah?” 

It was late that night, and Chan and Hyunjin were enjoying ice cream on the couch while watching movies. The rest of the members had left to go to sleep, so they were the only ones up. 

“I need you to know something.”

Hyunjin put his ice cream down, the movie instantly forgotten. “What is it?”

“I realized it watching you perform today, but I think I’ve felt like this for awhile.”

Hyunjin couldn’t believe what Chan was saying. Is this what he thinks is happening?

“I like you.” 

Hyunjin never thought he’d ever hear those three words come out of Chan’s mouth. 

“You don’t have to say anything or reciprocate at all, I just wanted you to know.” 

Oh, Chan had no idea. 

“Channie, I like you too. I have for a long time.”

“You do?”

“Fuck, yes. I can never stop thinking about you. You know those times when I avoided you? I tried to make my feelings go away but it never worked. I never thought you would never feel the same way about me. The only reason that I was able to be successful today was all because of you.”

“Baby, now you have me speechless.” 

“Then don’t say anything,” Hyunjin responded before crawling onto Chan’s lap, straddling him, His eyes flickered down to Chan’s lips. His eyes met Chan’s only for a moment until he leaned down and captured the lips that he had dreamed about kissing for so long. 

It was slow and sweet and even more spectacular than Hyunjin could have ever imagined. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Damn, if we thought it was bad before, what do we even call this?” Felix asked, exasperated. 

“I am way too tired to be dealing with this right now,” Seungmin said. 

“Chan and Hyunjin can’t take their hands of each other. Chan tackles Hyunjin any time he sees him and I’m beginning to think that it’s a problem,” Woojin commented,

“I miss Hyunjin. He never cuddles with me anymore,” Jisung pouted. 

“Just leave them be. They’re in love.” 

“Says you, Changbin. You’re still sad that you can’t kiss Hyunjin anymore,” Seungmin stated.

“Ahh young love. Where can I get myself some?” 

Jeongin interjected, “You’re still young, Minho.” 

“The other day you called me ‘Grandpa.’”

“It’s cause you are one.”

“What’s right?” Minho asked, exasperated. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Channie, I just wanted to thank you again. I looked through Twitter at what Stay thought of my performance and they all loved it. So, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Hyunjin. It was all you.”

“But, I couldn’t have done it without you, so thank you.”

“I can think of something else you could do to thank me,” Chan said, moving closer to where Hyunjin was sitting on the bed. 

“And what’s that?” Hyunjin asked, letting Chan guide him to lay down, his back pressed against the bed, allowing Chan to climb on top of him. 

“Letting me kiss you.”

Hyunjin nodded fervently, and Chan leaned down to kiss Hyunjin’s soft lips. 

They both wanted this moment to last forever. 


End file.
